Well, there goes co-sleeping!

We recently decided it was time to make some big changes in our home. 

What better time than spring to do a major cleaning and house dump? 

Every parent knows that having kids comes with a lot of stuff. And kids are not solely to blame. As humans we are constantly buying and obtaining stuff and I consider Shane and I to be on the better side of this. There are some serious shopaholics close to me

So, we went through every square inch of our house with cleaning supplies and garbage bags and it felt so good

After several days we have transformed our home and it feels like we moved. We all feel so rejuvenated and excited and our home now more accurately depicts the type of environment we desire: calm, minimal and neat. 

Why am I sharing this and what does it have to do with co-sleeping? I'm getting there.

The house cleanse did 3 things:

1) completely shifted our morale. 

It is noticeable in all of us. We all feel lifted. Spirits are high, healthy routines are back on track and I swear any bad vibes have been washed away. Win-win.

2) we gave. 

Donating the stuff (10+ large garbage bags) we don't need and didn't even use felt incredible. Now these items can go into the hands of people who will wear or use them, and nothing is better than that!  

3) co-sleeping was abruptly brought to a halt.

Shane and I were far from prepared for this. 

We've been co-sleepers from the get-go. Our current set-up is our queen mattress and attached (on my side) is Zinnia's crib, toddler style, with no rail. 

We snuggle to sleep and throughout the night, and when Zinnia wakes up, we snuggle more. She always spends about 15-45 minutes snuggling even closer to me in the mornings before she's actually ready to get up and it's pure heaven.

Well, see you later all night long snuggles

In the process of rearranging our whole house, we started to form a real room for Zinnia. All her stuff that was eating our house whole was relocated into our newly vacant spare room. Until now, we'd never really put effort into creating a room for her before because my sister lived with us during the school year and we co-slept, there was no need. 

Now that my sister has graduated and we have baby number two on the way, we started making it Zinnia's space. Initially I thought it would be more of a play room, with a bed for grandparents when they came to visit, but Zinnia was so excited that she caught us all by surprise. 

The very first night, out of nowhere Zinnia asked if she could sleep in her new bed in her new room. I was shocked. 

Sidebar: since finding out there's a baby in my tummy, she has been super clingy, especially at bedtime and I thought co-sleeping wasn't going to budge for a while. 

Trying not to wear my heart on my sleeve I played it cool, she went to bed in her room, I left both our doors open and had the worst sleep of my life. I got maybe 3 hours and was worried the whole time. What if she woke up and forgot her decision to sleep away from us? 

I missed snuggling her so much. I replayed any time I wished for space in our co-sleeping journey and couldn't believe it was already done. I thought about climbing into her bed about 1000 times, but I knew, it was not the best thing for her. It was a selfish move and I had to woman up. 

The next morning, I heard her wake up. No tears. I run into her room and snuggle up to her. I asked, "how was your sleep?

Her words, verbatim, "that was the longest best sleep ever!" With all the enthusiasm. 

It felt like a dagger to the heart but I was proud of her none the less, and wasn't going to show on my face how I was feeling inside. 

Since then, she has slept in her new room, in her new bed, every nap and nighttime. She loves it. 

She sleeps through the night, and in the mornings, I can hear her wake up, read a book and then work tirelessly for 5 minutes "making" her bed. Which I've never asked her to do. I can hear it's not easy to spread the whole cover evenly over her whole bed, but she sticks with it. That's the personality she has

Just like our breastfeeding relationship, Zinnia decided when co-sleeping was done and I'm doing what I can to honour and respect her lead. Her strong will to do things for herself and make her own decisions has been a tough pill to swallow at times, especially when I just ache for her to be my baby again. But that strong will is the same reason she was able to dress herself before 1 year and pack her own bag before a trip by 2.

She teaches me so much every day about perseverance, determination and being yourself and I'm constantly finding myself in awe.

Oh Zinnia, you are one unique little lady.

Show love, grow love

Happy Living Parents!