This week's mindful mantra is about wiggling away the worries and fears for the future, allowing ourselves the gift of presence and freedom from needing to know what the future might hold.
As much as I practice mindfulness in my parenting and day to day lifestyle, I have always struggled with worrying. Over my Journey To Zen (as I like to call it) I have definitely come to worry less, however becoming a mother sort of derailed the progress.
While I have managed to wiggle most of my little pointless worries away, becoming a mother came with an overwhelming burst of irrational thoughts and fears I had never once thought about. There was one day, shortly after delivering Zinnia, when I cried for most of the day at the thought of getting stricken with cancer and dying before I could watch Zinnia grow up.
Dark, I know! I am almost ashamed to even admit it, but you ladies know, the hormones are all over the place in the first few days and weeks after delivering. Pfft, who am I kidding, before, during and after delivering!
It felt so scary though. Parenthood was a tall order. I now had this amazing little girl growing before my eyes and I don't want to miss one second of it.
When I am away from Zinnia, there is always a tiny piece of my heart that flutters a little faster worrying if she is happy and safe. I worry if she knows that even though I am not with her, I am thinking, missing and loving her like crazy.
With having just tackled potty training ( which is still going great!) I feel it is time for me to take another look within myself, have some conscious deep breaths, and unwind a little bit. Breathe in a slower, present and trusting energy, and breathe out the fast, worrisome tense energy. Let go of the worries and the weight they bring inside me and lighten my body with acceptance. Accidents will happen, set backs will come up, but the good stuff is all around us too. It's the dance of life, and the best thing we can do is just live it and wiggle freely!
Our family schedule is always super crazy in the summer. We book ourselves solid with adventures, family and friends and the days move fast. I love our life and how we choose to live it, but it can sweep us away if I don't stop myself and put a little love back in. I can overtime feel myself tense up if I have been too busy for too long and begin to feel the worries creep back in.
This week I will wiggle the worries away and get myself back to calm. Enjoy almost a week at home before our next vacation, and let the days happen as they do, the accidents occur as they will and accept that the future is not mine to predict, stress over or manipulate.
I hope you practice wiggling the worries away with me this week!