This week's mindful mantra is about loving your partner.
Aside from co-parenting with them, there are many things about the parents' relationship that matter to your children. Of course things like consistency in boundaries, repetition with routines and habits are all things that are important to work out with your partner, however the most important thing we can do for our family, is love them.
That doesn't mean that you carry on through life settling in to the fact that you of course love each other and that is enough. Investing in each other, being considerate of what each other needs and always believing you have nothing but the best intentions for each other, is actually a gift we not only give back to each other, but that we give to our children.
By showing a healthy and happy relationship our children learn first hand what it means to be respected, loved and looked out for. They see that kisses and hugs matter when showing affection. They see that talking nice to each other and helping each other out is what an equal relationship is about. Most importantly they feel love in their home and throughout their lives, and this type of modelling is the most valuable role-modelling of all time. Say it today and all week as a reminder, I love and appreciate my partner, to show the love that matters most, a healthy and happy relationship.
Of course every relationship has it's ups and downs. No relationship is perfect, whatever that even means.
If you and your partner can have a disagreement, and at the end of the day pick up your stubborn boots and apologize for if/how you hurt each other, than that is all that matters. If you can't, use this week as a new opportunity to try.
Grudges, tensions, bad looks, rude tones and lack of physical touch tells our children that love is conditional. That forgiving, loving glares with positive intentions, gentle touch and kind words don't need to happen to the parents, it's for the kids. If we don't show love to our partner, why would our children show them love?
If you have a crazy busy schedule, your exhausted at the end of the day, or maybe you have been carrying a little extra weight around the family, what matters most is that you chose this person. You love them for a reason and you want to spend the rest of your lives with them, so show them. Spend time with them. Talk to them. Appreciate them. Thank them for all they do with no interest in being thanked back. Investing in your partner is an investment in your family, and if we don't take the time to do just that, we are doing everyone in it a disservice.
Try taking at least 10 minutes a day of uninterrupted and disconnected from device time with your partner. Talk openly and honestly about your day and listen to what they have to say as well. Apologize for any wrong doings that may have happened and forgive each other. Vow to try harder the next day and everyday there after and never stop showing them that they matter to you and your family, and that you love and appreciate them.