Talk it out Tuesday is a place where readers write in to me asking a question and I reply for everyone to see, opeing the floor for discussion and story sharing.
Ask me about a challenge you had with your little one, and I will offer you a talk it out option for how you can help alleviate those trying moments.
This week, a mom wrote in asking "How do I get anything done in the kitchen when everytime I start to cook, my little one wants me to pick her up- help!"
I can completely relate to this! There was a time when I often heard "Mommy, up! Mommy, up!!" everytime I tried to cook as well.
Trying to get away with just saying "I'm cooking" or "wait a minute" is the fastest way to drag on the whole experience so a great thing to try is the talk it out & redirect within strategy.
One option: stop what your doing, pick them up (for visual aids), and explain [talk it out]:
"Mommy is cooking right now. Look, I need two hands to stir the batter and look over here, here is the very hot pan that is going to cook our pancakes. Mommy can snuggle you after I cook, but until then, [redirect within] do you want to help mommy with the cooking?"
Depending on the age, give the child something to "do" or "help" i.e. empty tupperware and a spoon, or have them stir the batter, etc.
It takes time for children and parents to connect through the talk it out strategy, but if you always take a couple seconds to show, explain and give options to something else, they'll not only get used to this strategy, but they'll be excited and expectant of it. Knowing that you will respect what they want, and find a safe way to get as close to their idea as possible.
This investment in connecting and explaining will actually save you time in the long run.
Rather than cooking stressfully and having to try to tend to your little one between every stir, flip and chop, you could handle it right away, and carry on, happily, together!
There is always a way to talk it out, and once we form the habit of explaining to our little ones those safe boundaries, they become more accepting of our reasons and explanations.
Do you have a struggle and want to talk it out? Try me! I'd love to help show you how to work this very helpful strategy. Email questions at firstname.lastname@example.org